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Posts Tagged ‘Identity’

The Work Conundrum

working.jpegBefore I begin this monologue, I would like complete disclosure. First, I know I am fortunate to be able to stay home with my children while they are young, even though it has cost us ungodly amounts of student loans. Second, if I were to return to work with two preschool-aged children, the amount of money I would bring in after taxes and all the child care costs would maybe allow us to rent our Saturday night movie without guilt. This is not a “should I go back to work for the money, even though I don’t need it” post, because God knows we need it.. but wouldn’t get it. This is a “should I go back to work, even a little bit, to save the sliver of sanity I have left” post.

There are two realities I cannot get around, when conceiving my ideal work scenario: a) Hubby works insane hours and that is not going to change until after all the children are school-aged, and b) we don’t have the money to have a sitter while I do non-paying good vibe volunteer work. Also, I do love hanging out and playing with my children, especially in the beautiful summer and fall months. Therefore, if I returned to work, it would have to feel very real and rewarding to warrant leaving the children. Alright- so after all those stipulations, what is left?

Here is my ideal scenario: Be home with the children in the morning, and have some fun adventure,- a hike, a swim, the bike ride, etc. Then Baby lays down for nap from 11-1, during which time I prepare dinner and get ready for work. The babysitter comes from 2-5, while I go…change the world for the better for more than the $12/hr that I’m paying the sitter. There is the clutch. How does one find a meaningful part-time job that pays enough to cover the care?

I know there are jobs out there, specially-made for moms who want a part-time gig. And if all I wanted was a break, and half my sitter money paid, I would stuff envelopes or make direct marketing calls (well, maybe not), but I am looking for something outside of a creative pancake recipe that that will challenge me.

I am coming to the conclusion that I need to make something up myself. Something fun and challenging that will better my community, pay at least as much as the sitter charges, and be part-time. If I were a just a sculptor…or a shoemaker….

I would love to hear what you think about working as a mother. Do you? Do you want to, but don’t? Does it bring you the sanity I dream of, or make life even crazier? Is it possible to have job charming while raising children? Or do I need to put all this on hold for another few years? And one last question that could fill a whole new post: if you have decided to stay home with the children, but plan on returning to work some day, at what age do you think it is right to return to work, and why then?

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Mary Jo Who?

Yesterday, hubby was uploading music onto our iPod (part of our on-going campaign to stay hip) to go to the gym, and when I looked at his “pumping iron” playlist, I cracked up. “Honey, I’m pretty sure there has been some good music released since AC/DC and Poison were touring.” All his songs were from our good old college, no high school days! “Yeah,” he smiled back at me, “like who?”

Smile fades.

Our entire music library, with the exception of the Once soundtrack and the Fergie album (please, who can resist the woman who gave us “My Humps“!), all our music was from 1993 and earlier. Can you guess when we graduated college? Yep, 1993. Then time stopped, in our musical coolness.

So, I’m on a mission to drag myself into the present. I used to love– no I still love music. I just have to figure out how to find out who I am, currently, in the music world. This must be what college students spend all their free time doing these days– cruising play lists, trying to find the perfect person out there who has the same tastes as you, and who has done all the hard work of searching a testing, listing and editing playlists so that we can happily and lazily freeride. I, however, 15 years out of college and barely able to find the “download this song” button on iTunes, have not had as much luck finding my perfect playlist match. Nor do I have the time. Do you think I could hire a college student to find me my perfect match. Hmmmm…

The problem there is that they would ask me what kind of music I like. Um… Salsa and Cumbia, some 80’s but nothing close to Eclipse of the Heart or Lionel Richie; R&B, unless it had too much rap or too much wining; Pop, unless the singer really has a bad voice and there is too much synthesizers; Rock, unless it too much electric guitar; Indie/Folk, great, but again with the wining….

Would anyone take me on?

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And Baby Makes Three


My last entry was Sept. 2006. Can you guess when Baby was born. October 2006. I don’t think I need to explain more, so I’ll just jump back in where I left off.

Almost.

So now I’m home with THREE, still married to med student (who graduates in four months– woohoo!, but then years more of residency….), and yes, still searching for that ever elusive balance. Is there a mother who is not? Is there a human who is not? Well, I’m a Libra, so maybe I’m projecting a bit.

Anyway, my new idea is this: Blogging madness. Why? Because I love to write, and if I ever make any money doing it, it will finally justify paying a babysitter while I write. And I really want to find that perfect balance… spending quality time with the children (yes, that even includes folding the laundry next to them while they watch Word Girl), quality time with the hubby (who?), and doing at least three things that are totally Keegan. Bang, writing is one, and then maybe a yoga class once a week, and…ooohh, an art nook in the attic, with big canvases and messy oils, bottles of wine, and groovy music all for meeeee after the kids are in bed. Does that sound reasonable? Is there any way to keep the kids out of my art nook?

So I have ideas for three, yep three blogs that I’m really excited about. I will have to balance out all this Keegan activity, though, won’t I? Art nook S, T, Th.; Blogging M, W, F. Kids all day every day. Hubby… Saturday night?

God, I hope I follow through. I am one of those people, God love us, who had grandiose plans, I mean really exciting, keep you up at night plans, but then I get distracted. Easily and often, and usually by another grandiose plan. Time will tell…. or not.

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