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Posts Tagged ‘guilt’

Guilt: Part 2 of a Series

I dropped Boo, my 2 1/2 year old boy, off at gymnastics this morning with his sister, Sunshine. Now, gymnastics, what could be more fun for the kids (other than the &!$@% sprinkler park that I cannot do anymore this summer!)? Though usually seen as fun, when I have to be at work and have a meeting with a new boss candidate, Boo decided he would rather be home baking muffins with me. Of course, were I planning on going home and baking muffins (in a quite house with my music on- glorious!!), he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. So I hold him while the other children start on the trampoline. All it takes is for him to give one go on the trampoline, and he’s hooked, gives me a kiss and I’m off- late, but at least showing up to work. (What would I have done had he not let go of me, crying and begging to go home? Would I really leave him there, crying? Would I really not show up to work because of separation anxiety?

Am I ruining my little Boo? Sunshine never had so much independence (not even a babysitter!) when she was 2. When she started school at 3.5, it was two mornings a week and I sat by the window waving and blowing kisses until pick up time. Now, I drop Boo off almost every day with friends or gymnastics with a swift kiss and hair russle. What does #3 have in store for him?

It is not like I have had a five-year break between children and I’m so excited to stay home and oogle all over Baby. I’m on the edge of SAHM burn-out. Working part-time in an office with other adults is FABULOUS. So, will I regain some of my original SAHM love with Baby comes? Please, say yes, because the guilt is already building, and he isn’t even born yet.

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