Posts Tagged ‘fun’

Being Present

I just finished bathing Baby, who is now 15 months old and all that. While, only 30 minutes ago, I was cursing at him under my breath (but obviously not totally under my breath because Sunshine said, “Mommy, babies don’t understand. You just need to be patient.” Thanks, Sunshine), now I find myself alone in the bathroom and absolutely in love. Sunshine and Boo are downstairs building a fort out of sofa cushions and the rest of my kitchen, and it is just me and Baby, and isn’t he lovely.

What made this moment so special is that I was 100% there with him, in all his naked splashing, giggling glory. We took turns yodeling into the the big rinse cup, giggling at each other’s echoes. And I just stared at him; HE who clings to both legs yelling the indistinguishable but ever present “aaaaa?” while I”m tryinp1060093.jpgg to prepare dinner (while yelling at Sunshine and Boo to clean up their DARN paints, set the table and wash their hands– for the seventeenth time); HE who follows behind me while I’m picking up all his discarded “toys”, pulling out all the paper bags from the side of the refrigerator, digging into the highest kitchen drawer, which he cannot see into, and randomly pulling things out and throwing them all over the kitchen floor. Argh!

But not now. Not when it is just him and nothing else.

I catch glimpses of this sometimes, but not often enough. This pure joy that motherhood is really all about. I think I felt it more often with my first, of course, because there were fewer distractions (though I was battling the “How the eff did I end up here and where did all the grown-ups go?” dilemma).

It is so easy to get caught up in the everything, to get resentful, and feel like there is nothing left for me. But in truth, if I allow myself to slow down, sit with the kids, look at them, play their silly games with them, and really be there and not somewhere else in my mind, I realize that this is what it is all about. And hold the eff on to it, because come ten years from now, it will be me asking “Boo, will you please play with me?”p2040017.jpg


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